I’m glad you asked the questions you did. I agree that there can be a positive process of spiritual development that engages the kind of differentiation and identity formation processes that have been identified by developmental psychologists. Indeed, to the extent that the developmental theories of adolescence are accurate, we would expect that a full discipleship process in Christ would address those issues and incorporate them into the process of spiritual growth. So in answer to your question, the emotional connection with God that many people experience during adolescence or emerging adulthood can be an important and positive part of their spiritual development. And, as you suggest, people should normally grow out of adolescence and into a humanly and spiritually healthy adulthood. They do not lose their emotional connection to God in the process of growing up, but they add to that dimension other elements of spiritual maturity.

Unfortunately this transition to adulthood is becoming more difficult and ambiguous because adulthood itself has changed over the past few decades. In his book Arrested Adulthood, sociologist James Cote argues that due to macro level social changes in modern societies, there is a new “psychological adulthood” that looks a lot like the old adolescence. Like adolescents, adults are in a continual process of self development and identity formation. A person is an adult when she decides she is. And what “adult” means is up to the individual to decide. A duty to care for others or give back to society, to keep commitments, etc…are things that are now optional. As Cote poignantly asks, “Who will care for the children?”

There has been far too little serious theological reflection on developmental theories and on how human development itself has changed over time. We are in a new era in which the social and psychological markers of adulthood are in flux. And as Cote argues, there are many tempting, self-indulgent, consumerist detours on the way to mature adulthood. So Christians will need to more carefully develop our own biblically and theologically grounded portraits of maturity. And we need to help Christians of all ages see spiritual maturity as both desirable and attainable.